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Scrutinizing Third Person, Present Tense POV

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When I first started telling stories almost all third-person fiction (and first-person for that matter) was written in the past tense:

Carlos went into the dealership and looked around. He knew the salespeople would descend on him soon, and it was all he could do to stand his ground.

Past tense means the events happened some time ago, and you’re writing about them as such. The story already happened, and you’re telling it to someone at a later time.

For fifty years prior to my own apprenticeship, everyone who had any interest in telling stories also secretly aspired to writing the Great American Novel. You weren’t a real writer if you didn’t have an unfinished novel in your desk.

At about the same time that I was learning my craft, however, something was happening in Hollywood that would change all that. Directors like Coppola and Spielberg and Lucas were breaking out of the classic Hollywood production pipeline and bringing wildly entertaining and successful movies to the screen. The documents they worked from — the scripts — were also becoming literary properties in themselves. Writers were starting to sell scripts outright, and some of those scripts were selling for what anybody would call a chunk of money.

Almost overnight — by which I mean the five year span between the early and late 1980′s — writers went from having novels in their desks to having screenplays in their desks. When Syd Field published a book called Screenplay the gold rush was on.  

Now, what’s interesting about screenplays is that they’re all written in third person, present tense, as if the action is happening right now:

Carlos goes into the dealership. He looks around, spots a salesman. The salesman flashes a white-bright smile and steams over. Carlos looks for a place to hide.

I don’t know if anyone has ever documented the influence of pop-culture screenwriting on the world of fiction, but in the early 90′s I had the distinct impression that third-person, present-tense fiction was becoming more and more popular, while third-person fiction written in the past tense seemed to rapidly fall out of style. And I don’t think that was a coincidence.

One reason I make this point (whether it’s been made elsewhere or not) is because it reveals an ugly and constant truth about the world of fiction. Many (if not most) of the stories you read at any given time are written not in the pure service of craft, but at least partly in the service of trends. Some of these trends help break molds, of course, but others are simply cliquey conventions.

The main reason I make this point, however, is to show how literary trends can work against authorial goals. It may at first blush seems as if third-person, present-tense fiction is no different from third-person, past-tense fiction, but that’s not the case. Choosing one over the other is not simply a preference, it’s a craft choice, and the effects of each on the audience are different.

Third-person, past-tense stories have the advantage of being more natural. From the time we’re children we learn to tell about the events of our lives in the past tense, because that’s quite literally the way in which such events plays out. We go to school, we get beat up, we go home, we tell about it in the past tense because it happened in the past.

In fiction, this imitation of the natural, logical method of telling about events that we all use in our own lives helps facilitate the reader’s suspension of disbelief. It takes little effort for the reader to believe that the past-tense fiction they’re reading is believable precisely because the point-of-view technique being used mimics the way in which they hear stories from all sources. For example: almost all newspaper reporting is in the past tense precisely because the events being reported have already transpired.

Present-tense fiction does not have this advantage. Instead, present-tense fiction mortgages a bit of structural familiarity for a hoped-for increase in tension. The goal is very much like the difference between a story printed in the newspaper the next day, and a live on-the-scene report of something that is happening in real time.

Except…no reader thinks that what’s being told to them in present-tense fiction is actually happening at that moment. This in turn creates a disconnect: the reader is asked to believe that something is happening right now when it clearly isn’t — and the reader knows it isn’t because what they’re reading had to be printed at some earlier point. Yes, suspension of disbelief can solve this problem, but it’s a problem that past-tense stories simply do not have to solve.

To be sure, people are more comfortable reading present-tense fiction now precisely because it has become more common. Just as the jump cut in film used to elicit confusion in the theater, but can now be interpreted by almost anyone of any age, new techniques become part of the storytelling lexicon as mediums evolve.

The takeaway here is not that you shouldn’t use third-person, present-tense point of view. Rather, it’s that you shouldn’t use it simply because it’s what everyone else is doing. That’s not writing, that’s following the herd. (Admittedly this kind of herd instinct may make you more publishable at any given moment, in the same way that having the right buzzwords in your resume will mean you’re more likely to be hired. But it’s a given on this blog that writers shouldn’t be interested in how to suck up to people in power. They should be interested in telling the best stories they can tell.)

When you set out to write your next piece of fiction, whether it’s flash or a thousand-page epic, consider the craft choices available to you, then make the choices that are best for your story. There are plenty of people out there eager to take the next open spot in the literary clique. There are no people out there who will say what you have to say in the way you would say it if you had complete freedom to do so.

You have complete freedom to do so.

 

This is a reprint from Mark Barrett‘s Ditchwalk.

Anti-Bookshelving Movement

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Ok, it’s not really a movement, it’s just me, to my knowledge. But I’ve been harboring feelings of anti-bookshelves for a while and wanted to get my thoughts out in the open. Thanks to Indiependent books’ post inquiring about readers’ bookshelving processes, I offered a contrarian opinion (go figure). Here it is:

[Editor’s note: the author’s original capitalization choices in this piece have been preserved]

when i released my first book, i released it for free online and in all electronic versions, and priced it at a very cute, ironic price in print, and even that was still a little steep for a first time author releasing an independent book that was uncategorizable (read: not a genre novel). so all i asked as i started giving it away to everyone on the street i could find who would take a copy was that their payment [be] to pass it on to someone else to read.

i cringe every time i hear someone say that my book is sitting on their coffee table, or on their nightstand, or proudly in their stack of unread or read books. I DON’T WANT MY BOOK TO SIT ANYWHERE. i want it to be read and read and read again. why would i have written a book, then, to have it sit on a shelf somewhere?
 
and that’s when i realized that all of the books i own and sit on my own shelves have authors, too, who have poured their guts and passion into writing them and want the same for their own works. so i’ve started to pass on my books on the condition that people do the same.
 
books should be an ever revolving product that can be used and re-used and re-re-used. ban bookshelves. bookshelves should be re-named thingshelves, so that they don’t carry books. they should be re-sized so that they can’t carry books. they should be a deterrent to holding books. books should have timers and alarms on them to remind the owner to pass it on.
 
the problem with book pricing is that when someone pays $24.95 plus tax and shipping, you want to get some bang for your buck. so you read it, you gingerly protect the cover, and you place it proudly on your shelf for all to see.
 
ew. we must get away from that mentality and pass books around because it faciliates more discussion about the book itself when you suggest someone read it and then you actually give them the thing. it makes recommendations real and that is what all authors want. and i do suppose readers do, too.
 
thanks.
lovelenox.

 

This is a cross-posting from Lenox Parker’s Eat My Book.

14 Tips For Effective Characterization

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The next James River Writers’ Conference will be here before you know it and as a member of JRW, I wanted to pass along a few things I found interesting at our last conference. The discussion I most enjoyed centered on CHARACTERIZATION in NOVELS. A panel of three successful authors held this particular seminar.

One panelist indicated the best writing era for character research was the 1880’s to the 1920’s. He said when writing your book, read novels from that time period to learn how to improve upon your characterization.

Another idea they mentioned is show your readers how a character walks, stutters, or whatever. This makes the character more memorable. This made me think of Gene Wilder in Young Frankenstein, when Marty Feldman who played a hunchback, shuffled off. He told Wilder to, “Walk this way.” He meant for Dr. Frankenstein to follow him, of course. However, the good doctor shambled off like a hunchback, too. Obviously this is a useful tool as I’ve kept that image in my mind for how long, thirty years?

This leads into the next recommendation the panelists made. They said to bridge characters within chapters when you write your novel. By this they meant to carry a character’s oddities from one chapter to the next. For example, if you have a character who shows irritation by flicking his fingers, (thanks, Richard), have him flick his fingers a number of times throughout your novel.

A time-tested avenue for writers is to pit contrasting characters against each other. Think Laurel and Hardy or Lucy and Ricky. (Am I the only one who remembers these people?) Or, for a more modern example, think the cast of Friends.

Put your characters in situations foreign to them. Think fish out of water. A good example is a goody-two-shoes in a gang fight. Your character’s personality will shine in those odd situations.

Never, and they repeated the word, never put your characters in front of a mirror. Yes, there is an exception in Snow White, but then again, even James Bond learned “never” never means never. Right?

The bad guy can always rationalize his actions. He’s not insane, he’s evil.

Here’s a good one! Find contradiction in your novel’s characters. Imagine our goody-two-shoes who finally succumbs to the neighbor’s wife’s enchantments. You could also write about the vegetarian who is forced to eat meat to stay alive. This idea can present wonderful conflict opportunities, don’t you think?

Characters must want something in every chapter. Do they all get their wishes fulfilled? Not if you’re looking for readers.

Put your characters in an argument as this, too, will bring out their personalities. This is the fundamental turning point in my current novel, so I’m glad to hear it works.

I thought this tip interesting and will incorporate it into my later manuscripts. Your character should be recognizable from the silhouette. They cautioned that this can get out of hand quickly if you’re not careful.

For authenticity when you name characters, find popular names during the decades in which they live. Sites of this nature are all over the Internet.

Another tip I liked also surfaced. If a gun is seen in chapter one, it must be fired by chapter four. There’s a name for this concept which I failed to write down.

And what was the most important of all these great writer’s tips? “Write what bubbles up.” That is, trust your Muse and pen what comes naturally to you.

What other tips might you wish to share to bring out the personalities of your characters?

I hope you know by now I wish for you only best-sellers.

 

This is a reprint from C. Patrick Shulze‘s Author of Born to be Brothers blog.

Get Rich Writing Fiction

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Some of us write simply because we can’t not write. Ideas grab us, move us, and demand to be written. We strive to make it as real as we possibly can, to improve at our craft every day, hopefully to make it into the realm of literature as well as entertainment. We want to craft an entire world where the places and people are so real that the reader doesn’t feel like he’s reading a book as much as he is going to another place.

In the lofty world of literature that we strive for, the reader will still think about the book after reading that last page. It’s our gift to the reader, something to take with him. Given sufficient skill, this can even happen long after we’re dead.

Then we learn that doesn’t sell. Oh, there are exceptions. Some novelists make a living by consistently writing quality literature. But there are quite a few best sellers who have no such goals. They write for money, and they make it. Even the writer who has written great literature has trouble marketing it that way.

We have to look at our “target audience.” Who will buy this book? Let me see, our heroine survived spousal abuse, so there’s an audience. There’s a suicide, so we can get the bereavement crowd. Where’s the setting? We can get a local audience. The hero’s a cop. Maybe the teen boys will go for that. Nah, too light on action. But there’s a romance. Maybe we’ll market to the romance readers. Give the hero bedroom eyes and pass him off as a romantic hero. Yeah, that might work.

But if you want to write to get rich, even that’s not enough. Nah, the time to think about your reader is before you write the book, not after.

Throw in lots of gratuitous sex, preferably extramarital. One (and only one) character who flirts and is sorely tempted and walks away from “love” to remain true to his wife.

Use taboo words for shock value. Ram, hump, scream, oral sex, voluptuous, female orgasm (the great revelation). Make sure a lot of your leads enjoy sex. Horny women are a good way to pull in the readers you want. We all know men are horny, but most of your readers haven’t discovered that some women enjoy sex too. Tell them this. Give the female readers a balm for their consciences and the male readers someone to dream about.

Your heroine should be tough, sweet, sensitive, and very horny, and has to think she’s not attractive even though every guy in the book except her husband falls off his chair with a tent in his pants.

Don’t let the length of a novel faze you. Just throw some people on the stage, move them around a bit, and get them into bed. Then change the rules so they switch around a bit and get them back into bed. It doesn’t always have to be a bed. Office desks and car seats work too. Hammocks, not so much. When the book’s long enough, stop. Don’t worry about the “climax,” because people are climaxing all over the place.

Exotic locales. Foreign countries with beaches. Lots of rich people. Remember that you’re writing for the lowest common denominator, because they spend most of the money that you’re trying to reel in. Make it sleazy. No one ever went broke underestimating the public.

How to publish? To do it right, write the sales pitch before you write the book. Make sure the book follows the pitch and the formula. If your cover letter alone has eight typos, no problem. Nobody cares. The publisher will wanna rush this baby to print and get you, or an attractive stand-in, doing as many TV appearances as possible before the book reviewers have time to draw breath.

Heck, your target market doesn’t read book reviews anyway. Also keep in mind that once that reader buys your book, you’ve won. They won’t get a refund just because you’re illiterate. So don’t worry about hiring an editor. Hire a publicist!

Think Hollywood. You want your book to become a movie. It doesn’t have to be a good movie, because most of them aren’t. It just has to sell, baby, sell! Write parts for all the hottest stars. True, today’s hottest stars will have faded by the time they start filming your movie, but no matter. Someone just like them will replace them.

I’ve been doing it wrong for all these years. I started writing over 20 years ago, and the seven books I have on the shelves are enough to make it a hobby that barely pays for itself. Meanwhile, I work at a job for my money. But if you follow my advice, you won’t make the same mistakes I have. You’ll get rich!

The One-Plot Wonder

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The One-Plot Wonder
THE ONE-PLOT WONDER
Copyright 2003, Michael LaRocca
http://www.michaeledits.com/

Back in the mid to late 1980s I was a security guard. The pay was lousy, but it gave me many hours in seclusion to write short stories and novels. However, I usually worked over 80 hours a week. No one can write that much unless his name is Isaac Asimov. Thus I discovered the joys of my local libraries. Recently, I decided to look up an author who gave me great pleasure in those days. Most of his books are now out of print, I’ve learned, even the one that became a movie.

I found that two of his books were available, so I ordered them. One I’d enjoyed before. The other was a straight thriller from the days before he created the “Appleton Porter” spy spoofs, re-released in 2001 in POD. I didn’t know this before they arrived at my home in China.

Since I’m giving away THE plot spoiler, I won’t identify the author or title. A man who deeply loves his wife buys her a hotel outside London. She is very happy there, at first. This is a fine suspenseful read as she notes oddities and eventually appears to be losing her mind and such. Suicides, an eventual murder. Finally, her husband pays a doctor to kill her.

Her husband arranged all this, we learn at the end, because she was dying of a horrible and incurable illness. Rather than let her suffer the indignity, he tries to give this lover of mystery novels some final days filled with clever puzzles and wonderful memories. He never realizes that he ended her days with a living hell.

The writing was fine, aside from some stupid typos of the sort common in unedited POD titles. He’s obviously a sincere, hard-working, talented author. The plot was wholly consistent and everything “worked.” So why is it a weak book? Because the plot I described is all there is. It’s a one-plot wonder.

As an author, if you find yourself floundering, if you find your work-in-progress failing to make progress, ask yourself. Is it a one-plot wonder?

Here are some best sellers I’ve read over the past 30 years.

During the Cold War, a Soviet commander steals a top-secret submarine and tries to defect to the US with it. A good and idealistic young law graduate accepts a job too good to be true, only to eventually learn he’s working for the Mafia. An alcoholic author and his family become caretakers at an old Maine hotel, alone during the winter, and he eventually goes nuts. A US President declares war on drug dealers, a “clear and present danger” to national security. A crippled author is kidnapped by the ultimate fan.

I’ve chosen these titles because I’ve read the books and seen the movies. None of my plot summaries are wrong. But with some of those novels, there are many more plots and subplots at work. These are the novels that didn’t always translate well to the big screen due to time constraints and/or loss of nonobjective voice.

I love a well-conceived “what if” scenario, and none of these books lack that. But more importantly, I love a novel that’s rich with the fabric of life. That’s where multiple plots come into play. Very rarely will a movie capture this as well as a novel can.

A one-plot wonder is a boring read. It’s a boring write. It’s not realistic. And, it’s a hard sell. All your eggs are in one basket. If the editor isn’t enthralled with that sole plot, you aren’t published. If the reviewer isn’t enthralled with that sole plot, he pans you. If the potential reader isn’t enthralled with that sole plot, he doesn’t buy your book. Or if he does, maybe you don’t get any repeat business from him. You don’t get mine.

Plus, we should be setting the bar a bit higher for ourselves anyway. We entertain, but we also enlighten and educate. Or at the very least, provide needed escape. But it’s hard to escape to a one-plot wonder. I keep taking coffee breaks between chapters.

I single out no writing medium with this. All are guilty. Come on, TERMINATOR 2 has more subplots than many successful books these days. And it’s not just “these days,” incidentally. The title I reviewed early in this article is from 1979. Published, successful, well-written, flat.

Craftsmanship is fine. Craftsmanship is wonderful to behold. Craftsmanship is a necessity. But it’s not enough. Do you want to build a horse barn that never leaks or do you want to build a two-story A-frame home that survives five hurricanes undamaged? My carpenter did the latter and I can’t do the former. But if I had the ability to build a leak-proof barn, I certainly wouldn’t limit myself to barns. I’d try to build houses. Just like the sheriff (Gene Hackman) in UNFORGIVEN.

I’m not talking about weighty tomes. Times change, readers change, and most people don’t read those tomes any more. What was once considered gripping is now considered boring.

But one-plot wonders also bore readers. They read it, enjoy it moderately, then go look for something else to do. There’s little satisfaction at the end. Rarely the big “wow” that made you start writing in the first place.

I’m talking about shooting for five stars instead of two or three. I’m talking about richness of story, raising the standard, writing your absolute best instead of settling for adequate.

I risk oversimplification here, but I’m seeing far too many one-plot wonders. People are buying them, too. But it’s time for us, the authors, to quit writing them.

How to Break Into Print Publishing

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The big question. Do you submit directly to publishers, or do you find an agent who will do that for you? It can work either way. Many publishers refuse to read unagented submissions, but on the other hand Tom Clancy and John Grisham sold their first books without an agent.

The bottom line is, if a publisher reads what he can sell, he’ll buy it. It doesn’t matter if it comes from an author or an agent. The trick is getting him to read it. That’s always your focus.

The most important step is to get your presentation looking as professional as possible. No mistakes. None. Zero. Nada. The vast majority of rejections aren’t because the story is “bad,” but because the Acquisitions Editor concludes that it’ll be too much work to make it “ready to read.” With new authors, publishers usually lose money. Advertising, print inventory… Don’t ask them to invest a great deal of editing time as well. They won’t do it. It’s just that simple.

The Selection Process

The most important part of getting your error-free manuscript published is choosing the right market. The best way to do this is to read books that are aimed at the same target audience as your own. If you want to approach publishers directly, look at who published those books. Their marketing machine is already positioned to announce your manuscript to your target audience, and they want more books of the type that you write. They’re your best bet.

Some authors thank their editors. If you’re going straight to the publishers, note the editors’ names and use those, preferably after a phone call to ensure the editor still works there. If you can, just phone the publisher and tell whoever answers the phone something like “I’m writing a letter to so-and-so, and I want to be sure I’m spelling the name correctly.” I used to be a secretary. I liked quick, easy questions.

If you want to approach an agent first, look in the acknowledgements sections of those books. Some authors thank their agents. Look up those agents and start with them. Tell them how you found them. This might impress them because it makes you look professional. You know they’ve got a track record in your genre. They know how to sell to publishers who are aimed at your target audience, so let them do it.

Whichever method you use, go in fully prepared. Meaning, work through all the steps below before you submit anything.

Overview

Your aim is to convince someone who not only does not know you, but does not want to know you, and has read too many bad books, that your book is different. For this you need a cover letter, bio, synopsis, and sample chapter of such wit, wisdom and genius that even the most jaded and cynical editor can take pleasure in it.

Take your time. Don’t just whip up something in a day and send it out. You’re probably looking at a one- or two-year gap between acceptance and publication. So in the grand scheme of things, taking the time to make your presentation really shine won’t matter. EXCEPT, it’ll ensure you get published in the first place.

Every publisher should have writers’ guidelines. Get them. Read them. Follow them. They’re using the process of elimination to get out of reading these submissions. The first step in that process is to bump off every author who can’t follow the guidelines. Don’t be one of them.

Preparing Your Query Letter

This will be the first impression they get of you. Make it a good one. Edit that letter as hard as you would a manuscript, and make the damn thing perfect. Make it good writing. Sum up your book in such a way as to make the recipient of the letter say, “Wow, I want to read this book.”

The first page of your book, along with the jacket text, are what usually determines whether a browser buys your book or puts it back on the shelf. As you write your query letter, think of what you’d put on that book jacket, and work that concept into your letter.

Never address your query letter To Whom It May Concern, Dear Editor, or any of that. Get a name. When you find the books that you really like, and are searching them for potential publishers, call those publishers. Ask who edited those books. If you want to approach the publisher directly, write to those editors.

With a simple bit of good writing, and we all know you can do that since you’ve already written and polished your manuscript, you’ll make it past this first hurdle. The editor reads your letter, sees nothing in it to stop him from continuing, and has no choice.

What would stop him? Typos. Grammar. Spelling. Boredom. Or anything that says “I write so much better than Stephen King that he’s not fit to hold my jock strap. Buy my book and we’ll both get rich.”

Writing Your Bio

Don’t lie. That’s the first rule. The second rule is, don’t forget any writing credits. List everything relevant you’ve got. Publications in decent magazines or newspapers. Credits in TV, films, theaters. Any literary prize you’ve managed to get in adulthood. The fact that you’re a professor of English or an editor of a sports journal.

If you have no literary background, no education, and no respectable publications, but you spent fifteen years in solitary confinement in a Siberian work camp, that might indicate that you have a story to tell. But if you’re writing about cuddly wombats to entertain the under-five crowd, this piece of information may be more than anyone needs to know.

You can list your credits either chronologically or from most impressive to least
impressive. Just whichever puts you in the best light. You want to look like you’re already a successful author. You don’t want to sound arrogant, but you do want to sound confident. Keep it to a single page. You don’t want to waste anybody’s time. They don’t have enough. (Who does?)

If your bio is so bare of details that it’s more of a liability than an asset, forget about it. Maybe your “bio” equals a sentence or two, in which case you can work it into your query letter instead of a separate document.

Your goal, remember, is to get that editor to read your synopsis or manuscript. To judge it on its own merits. If he reads your writing and rejects it, you gave it your best shot. Try a few more editors, and if they all reject it, think about improving your writing. But you don’t want that editor to stop reading your submission before he gets to your writing. So, take the time to do your query letter and bio correctly.

Writing Your Synopsis

To quote at least one agent, “There is no such thing as a good synopsis.” And how can there be? How do you sum up 50,000 or 100,000 words in a page or two? I’ll tell you how I do it. Very badly.

Having said that, this is your first chance to show the publisher that you can write. Some publishers want a minimal amount of information on first contact (query letter, bio, synopsis). Others want to see the first chapter or two as well. Nobody wants to see the whole manuscript at first, except those who say so in their writers’ guidelines. If you include sample chapters, the chance of them being read depends largely on the quality of your query letter and synopsis.

Keep your synopsis short, two pages maximum unless the writers’ guidelines say differently. Shorter is better. Pick out the theme and the strengths of your book and, in as clever a fashion as possible, relay these qualities in a brief chronology. The chronology is less important than the theme because, in truth, your only hope with a synopsis is that your theme or concept will strike a chord with the editor or agent reading it.

If your story is funny, your synopsis should be funny. If it’s a romantic story, then your synopsis should be a romantic synopsis. You are a writer, and here is where you can be creative.

Many great works of literature don’t have easily defined stories, just fine writing and good characters. If you have no story, then you have to sell your idea. Your synopsis must have fine, clear writing. Say how your book starts, how it ends, and the interest in the middle. This isn’t the time for cliffhangers.

Your sample chapter should do the main talking, but your synopsis should offer up those clever memorable sound bites that will linger in the editor’s mind and convince him to read the sample chapter.

Preparing Your Manuscript

Did I mention that your manuscript must be flawless? I’ll mention it again. Your
manuscript must be flawless. Especially be sure that the first chapter(s), the “hook” that you submit, will be the type that grabs the reader and makes him/her/it wonder what happens next.

For questions of paper size, margins, etc., consult the writers’ guidelines for your prospective publisher(s) and follow them precisely. Do what they say and they’ll read your manuscript. Fail to do so and they’ll set it down unread, even if you’re the next Joanne Rowling.

Remember, they’re budgeting their time and trying to get out of reading this stuff. Once they read it, they’ll be fair. (If not, you don’t want them.) If it’s good solid writing, you’re in. But until they get to your writing, they always expect the worst. If you’d seen some of the crap that comes their way, you’d be just as pessimistic. But in the end they do love good writing or else they’d quit that job.

Literary Agents Revisited

Here’s some advice from the Agent Research and Evaluation website. They define an agent as:

“…someone who makes a living selling real books to real publishers. No one representing himself as an agent should also claim to be a book doctor, an editor-for-hire, a book ‘consultant’ of any kind. They shouldn’t charge any type of ‘upfront’ reading fee, marketing fee, evaluation fee or any other fee apart from a commission on work sold.

“With the possible exception of certain MINIMAL office expenses, legitimate agents NEVER handle [the expenses connected with submitting manuscripts] as an upfront cost. Only as a billable expense after being shown to have been incurred.

“Remember, real agents live off the commissions they make from selling their clients’ projects. Scammers live off up-front fees for unnecessary, inadequate, or non-existent services.”

This is excellent advice. Anyone can call himself an agent, get himself listed somewhere, and tell every author who sends him a manuscript “This is excellent. Send me some money and I’ll sell it.” Then he can pocket the author’s money and do absolutely nothing, or send the manuscript to the same publishers who reject everything else he sends them.

Agents work for a percentage of your sales. It’s usually 15%. An agent’s source of income must be the books he sells. If the author pays him before he closes a sale, where is his incentive to close the sale?

Insist that your agent send you copies of all rejection letters. A great agent should offer this without you asking, and those rejection letters shouldn’t all be undated “Dear author” or “Dear agent” letters that don’t mention you or your agent or your manuscript by name.

Your agent should also involve you in the selection process without you asking, even if that just means telling you “I’m sending to this, that, and the other place.” Don’t let him/her send your gothic romance to a children’s publisher, etc.

If you’ve been reading my other advice, you’re already talking to other authors. If you know one who’s made it into print, especially one who writes in your genre, ask which agent (and which publisher and editor) he used.

If your agent is sending your stuff to the right places and it’s still getting rejected, you’ve done all you can do, except write better.

Very

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Very
VERY
Copyright 2005, Michael LaRocca
http://www.michaeledits.com/

Very is an adverb, yet it cannot modify a verb. Why the hell not? Let’s look at some Chinese, shall we?

Wo ai ni.
I love you.
Wo hen ai ni.
I very love you.

That makes perfect sense to me. I love many things, such as bicycling, nature, literature, humor, food, or good music. But I very love Jan. Some cats run, but Miss Picasso very runs. Sometimes she purrs and sometimes she very purrs.

I greatly love Jan, I deeply love Jan, I sincerely love Jan, I quite love Jan, I passionately love Jan, and I wholeheartedly love Jan. Why can’t I very love Jan if I want to?

This is just one question you’ll face if you teach your language to someone with a different native language. And in this case, I have no good answer. “We just don’t.” How lame.

This is getting very silly. I very should very stop now before you very stop reading.

A Report On Handselling My Self-Published Books

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I really must apologize for not keeping this blog as up to date as I would like. I’ve talked about a number of self-publishing processes and experiences, about our bookstore, The Book Barn, in Leavenworth, Kansas, and the status of my writing and preparing my books. I’ve also mentioned niche marketing and several of the eight public domain books I discovered of interest to people in our area. Now I thought you might find it interesting to learn of some of my in-person handselling experiences for both my books and these historical fiction/nonfiction public domain books in our store.

 
First I need to explain this time of year, between the graduating Command and General Staff College class at the fort and the arrival of the next year’s class makes for some serious down time. It can be as traffic ridden as a hot day in the middle of the Sargasso Sea—total doldrums. Given that, sitting at my table in the store and cheerfully greeting the few out-of-town visitors who come in has been an interesting experience. I politely ascertain if they’re new to the area. I then mention my historical book about how our community was founded if they would like to know more about it and offer them a copy to peruse. I also ask what kinds of books they like best and steer them toward those sections. Once they have a chance to scan the shelves, I ask if they like mystery series set in a particular locale. If they do, I mention my mysteries and show them a few. That ofttimes results in a sale of one or more. Then I ask them if they like frontier history. If so, I show them the public domain books. Again, this often results in additional sales.
 
If they have just moved in, I ask if there are any books they haven’t been able to find. If so, I do a quick search of Baker and Taylor’s data base and if I find them, I explain our speedy special order service where we get books in 2-3 days with a 10% discount and no s&h. Again, this often results in an order or several. When they come back to pick up their books, they often will ask for other titles, which means they should become loyal customers.
 
My wife gets so busy with the day-to-day stuff, she doesn’t always have the time to do all this; however, we’re finding it’s sometimes doubling and even tripling our daily averages. Having a real live author talk books with the customers raises the store’s credibility. They like getting their purchases signed and personalized too.
 
I am so glad I decided to go back into self-publishing because it’s having a positive impact on our store business. We are also raising the community’s awareness of us as folks who are interested in the history and day-to-day of our town. This is all to the good. It’s also beginning to bring me a few book packaging clients of people who can see we know how to do all this. It all pulls together the various aspects of book production and retailing so that while other independent bookstores are having a tough time of it, we’re surviving and even doing a little better. It isn’t about doing just one thing. It’s about doing many related things in a cohesive way. To round it out is our reading of many books which we in turn can recommend, again making us a valuable resource.
 
I realize not many authors/publishers own their own bookstore; however, examine how we use all these different elements and consider how your books could fit into such a model. Convince bookstore owners and staff that your book or series is worthy of their personal attention to recommend and handsell to customers. This is why a poor turnout at a booksigning isn’t a disaster. It allows you the interface and time to connect with staff and owners and become their friend. Ofttimes the real success of a signing is in the handselling that takes place later.

 

This is a reprint from Bob Spear‘s Book Trends blog.

An Author's Plan For Social Media

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This post, from Chris Brogan, originally appeared on his site on 5/29/10.

Here’s a freebie: if I were an author looking to get the most out of the social web (and I am), I’d do something along the lines of what I’m about to share. Your mileage may vary, but here’s a decent approximation of the things I’d do. Please feel free to share liberally. Just link back to An Author’s Plan for Social Media Efforts, please.

 

An Author’s Plan for Social Media

  1. Set up a URL for the book, and/or maybe one for your name. Need help finding a URL? I use Ajaxwhois.com for simple effort in searching.
     
  2. Set up a blog. If you want it free and super fast, WordPress or Tumblr. I’d recommend getting hosting like Bloghost.me.
     
  3. On the blog, write about interesting things that pertain to the book, but don’t just promote the book over and over again. In fact, blow people away by promoting their blogs and their books, if they’re related a bit.
     
  4. Start an email newsletter. It’s amazing how much MORE responsive email lists are than any other online medium.
     
  5. Ask around for radio or TV contacts via the social web and LinkedIn. You never know.
     
  6. Come up with interesting reasons to get people to buy bulk orders. If you’re a speaker, waive your fee (or part of it) in exchange for sales of hundreds of books. (And spread those purchases around to more than one bookselling company.) In those giveaways, do something to promote links back to your site and/or your post. Giveaways are one time: Google Juice is much longer lasting.
     
  7. Whenever someone writes a review on their blog, thank them with a comment, and maybe 1 tweet, but don’t drown them in tweets pointing people to the review. It just never comes off as useful.
     
  8. Ask gently for Amazon and other distribution site reviews. They certainly do help the buying process. And don’t ask often.
     
  9. Do everything you can to be gracious and thankful to your readers. Your audience is so much more important than you in this equation, as there are more of them than there are of you.

Read the rest of the post, which includes 12 more steps for authors to use social media effectively, on Chris Brogan‘s site.

Presidential Stuff

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Presidential Quotations
Assembled by Michael LaRocca
http://www.michaeledits.com

Laws made by common consent must not be trampled on by individuals.
—George Washington

The government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion. —John Adams (often misattributed to George Washington)

The Christian god can easily be pictured as virtually the same god as the many ancient gods of past civilizations. The Christian god is a three headed monster: cruel, vengeful and capricious. If one wishes to know more of this raging, three headed beast-like god, one only needs to look at the caliber of people who say they serve him. They are always of two classes: fools and hypocrites.
—Thomas Jefferson

The fetters imposed on liberty at home have ever been forged out of the weapons provided for defense against real, pretended or imaginary dangers abroad. —James Madison

The best form of government is that which is most likely to prevent the greatest sum of evil. —James Monroe

America does not go abroad in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own. —John Quincy Adams

Any man worth his salt will stick up for what he believes right, but it takes a slightly better man to acknowledge instantly and without reservation that he is in error. —Andrew Jackson

As to the presidency, the two happiest days of my life were those of my entrance upon the office and my surrender of it. —Martin Van Buren

A decent and manly examination of the acts of government should not only be tolerated, but encouraged. —William Henry Harrison

I can never consent to being dictated to. —John Tyler

There is more selfishness and less principle among members of Congress than I had any conception of, before I became President of the U.S. The passion for office among members of Congress is very great, if not absolutely disreputable, and greatly embarrasses the operations of the Government.
—James Knox Polk

The idea that I should become President seems to me too visionary to require a serious answer. It has never entered my head, nor is it likely to enter the head of any other person. —Zachary Taylor

Nothing brings out the lower traits of human nature like office-seeking. Men of good character and impulses are betrayed by it into all sorts of meanness.
—Millard Fillmore

The maintenance of large standing armies in our country would be not only dangerous, but unnecessary. —Franklin Pierce

The ballot box is the surest arbiter of disputes among free men.
—James Buchanan

The bible is not my book nor Christianity my profession. I could never give assent to the long, complicated statements of Christian dogma.
—Abraham Lincoln

It’s a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.
—Andrew Johnson

I know no method to secure the repeal of bad or obnoxious laws so effective as their stringent execution. —Ulysses S. Grant

Nothing brings out the lower traits of human nature like office seeking.
—Rutherford B. Hayes

The President is the last person in the world to know what the people really want and think. —James A. Garfield

I may be president of the United States, but my private life is nobody’s damned business. —Chester Arthur

A man is known by the company he keeps, and also by the company from which he is kept out. —Grover Cleveland

We Americans have no commission from God to police the world.
—Benjamin Harrison

War should never be entered upon until every agency of peace has failed.
—William McKinley

To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. —Theodore Roosevelt

The world is not going to be saved by legislation. —William Howard Taft

I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow.
—Woodrow Wilson

Progression is not proclamation nor palaver. It is not pretense nor play on prejudice. It is not of personal pronouns, nor perennial pronouncement. It is not the perturbation of a people passion-wrought, nor a promise postponed.
—Warren G. Harding

I don’t know much about Americanism, but it’s a damn good word with which to carry an election. —Warren G. Harding

Perhaps one of the most important accomplishments of my administration has been minding my own business. —Calvin Coolidge

When large numbers of men are unable to find work, unemployment results.
—Calvin Coolidge

Older men declare war. But it is youth that must fight and die.
—Herbert Hoover

Remember, remember always, that all of us… are descended from immigrants and revolutionists. —Franklin D. Roosevelt

A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward. —Franklin D. Roosevelt

The only thing new in the world is the history you don’t know.
—Harry S. Truman

It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose your own. —Harry S. Truman

Once a government is committed to the principle of silencing the voice of opposition, it has only one way to go, and that is down the path of increasingly repressive measures, until it becomes a source of terror to all its citizens and creates a country where everyone lives in fear. —Harry S. Truman

Don’t join the book burners. Don’t think you are going to conceal thoughts by concealing evidence that they ever existed. —Dwight D. Eisenhower

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired is, in a final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. —Dwight D. Eisenhower

We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts, foreign ideas, alien philosophies, and competitive values. For a nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people. —John F. Kennedy

Evil acts of the past are never rectified by evil acts of the present.
—Lyndon B. Johnson

Certainly in the next 50 years we shall see a woman president, perhaps sooner than you think. A woman can and should be able to do any political job that a man can do. —Richard M. Nixon

We cannot learn from one another until we stop shouting at one another – until we speak quietly enough so that our words can be heard as well as our voices.
—Richard M. Nixon

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.
—Gerald R. Ford

Things are more like they are now than they have ever been.
—President Gerald Ford

China should not pay any attention to anything that is said in America during an election year. —Jimmy Carter

Government does not solve problems, it subsidizes them. —Ronald Reagan

I have opinions of my own — strong opinions — but I don’t always agree with them. —George H.W. Bush

The era of big government is over. —Bill Clinton

I’m a uniter, not a divider. —George W. Bush

If you’re not with us, you’re against us. —George W. Bush

I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn’t do my job.
—George W. Bush

I remember meeting the mother of a child who was abducted by North Koreans right here in the Oval Office. —George W. Bush

BARACK OBAMA QUOTATIONS
Assembled by Michael LaRocca
http://www.michaeledits.com

A good compromise, a good piece of legislation, is like a good sentence; or a good piece of music. Everybody can recognize it. They say, ‘Huh. It works. It makes sense.’

Americans… still believe in an America where anything’s possible — they just don’t think their leaders do.

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.

Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. Because it’s only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential.

I don’t oppose all wars. What I am opposed to is a dumb war. What I am opposed to is a rash war.

I know my country has not perfected itself. At times, we’ve struggled to keep the promise of liberty and equality for all of our people. We’ve made our share of mistakes, and there are times when our actions around the world have not lived up to our best intentions.

I think when you spread the wealth around it’s good for everybody.

I’ve got two daughters. 9 years old and 6 years old. I am going to teach them first of all about values and morals. But if they make a mistake, I don’t want them punished with a baby.

If the people cannot trust their government to do the job for which it exists — to protect them and to promote their common welfare — all else is lost.

If you’re walking down the right path and you’re willing to keep walking, eventually you’ll make progress.

Issues are never simple. One thing I’m proud of is that very rarely will you hear me simplify the issues.

My job is not to represent Washington to you, but to represent you to Washington.

No one is pro-abortion.

There is not a liberal America and a conservative America — there is the United States of America. There is not a black America and a white America and Latino America and Asian America — there’s the United States of America.

We can’t drive our SUVs and eat as much as we want and keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times… and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK. That’s not leadership. That’s not going to happen.

We have an obligation and a responsibility to be investing in our students and our schools. We must make sure that people who have the grades, the desire and the will, but not the money, can still get the best education possible.

We need somebody who’s got the heart, the empathy, to recognize what it’s like to be a young teenage mom, the empathy to understand what it’s like to be poor or African-American or gay or disabled or old — and that’s the criterion by which I’ll be selecting my judges.

We need to internalize this idea of excellence. Not many folks spend a lot of time trying to be excellent.

What Washington needs is adult supervision.

 

Editing, Proofreading, Manuscript Evaluation

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Next Day Proofreading by Michael LaRocca

If you live in the Americas, send me your document when you leave the office and you’ll find a clean copy waiting for you the next morning. I live in Thailand, which is 12 hours ahead of EST, and I have over 20 years of proofreading experience. One cent per word.

Fiction and Technical Editing by Michael LaRocca

I’ve edited over 300 published novels and textbooks over the past 20 years. Two cents per word, and that also includes proofreading because I simply can’t stop myself.

Manuscript Evaluation by Michael LaRocca

Maybe you’re not ready for such in-depth work yet or you simply can’t afford it because you’ve written over 100,000 words. My favorite service is my Manuscript Evaluation service, and it also happens to be my cheapest, at only $1 per 250 words. It may also be my most helpful.

 

http://www.michaeledits.com

 

Blackberry Picking & Hay Making

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Again my living in the country got in the way of being able to work at the computer last week. Not that I’m complaining. I love being an author and a country gal. I’m the one who set out blackberry vines twenty years ago. I dug the starter plants out of my parents ditch. One more plant at my house that has a family attachment. It took a few years for the plants to get established and attached to the barb wire fence back of the garden. Now the vines are so thickly entwined we don’t know the fence is there until we come in contact with a barb. Then we can’t be sure if what punctured our finger was metal or a sticker.

My favorite pie and jelly are blackberry. I make a blackberry syrup for a revel to run through homemade vanilla ice cream. The vines are between a row of spruce trees and cherry bushes and a field of 8 feet tall corn plants. However, I consider picking the berries, in the hottest month of the year and in a spot where absolutely no air moves, worth the effort. This year’s crop has been overly abundant because of all the rain.

When I bat at the deer flies and mosquitoes, I think about what berry picking was like when I was a kid in southern Missouri. My brother and I picked blackberries with our mom every other day for two weeks until all the berries ripened. She sold what berries we didn’t need to pay for sugar, flour and coffee at the grocery store. July days are hot and humid in the Ozarks. We were made hotter yet, because Mom made us wear long sleeve shirts to keep from getting scratched. We wore our cowboy hats with the bead on the string to shade us from the sun. Mom bought vanilla flavoring from the Watkins Salesman. She believed that to be the best for baking. The salesman was good at the over sell pitches. He told Mom she could rub the vanilla on our ankles to keep chiggers from crawling on us. Mom thought the idea was worth a try. We smelled like raw cookie dough and still had bites all over us. The sweet smell probably attracted the chiggers to us.

In the early morning hours when the day was as cool as it would get, we had a quarter of a mile walk down a lane lined with Osage Orange hedge trees to the pasture where the milk cows grazed. It was about that far across the pasture to the blackberry thickets. Cattle didn’t try to eat in the thickets because of the stickers, but snakes like the grassy shade under the vines. So we got the usual cautions from Mom to watch where we stepped. We each had a pail. Once in a while, a popping bug would fall in the berries. I’d have to stop picking to get rid of it.

Back then, I liked the cobblers and jelly Mom made with the berries. She canned and stored the jars in the fruit cellar behind the house for winter use. Even so I was always glad when we had all the ripe berries picked for the day so we could go home for lunch. We were sweaty and tired. Usually Mom had a fresh pitcher of real lemonade waiting for us in the ice box which was something to look forward to. A glass of that lemonade and the shade of the maple tree was as cool as it got in those days.

Back to the present with hay making. We finally got the hay baled. That job always makes me nervous. Last year, the tractor had a smoking problem that turned out to be two wires rubbed together. The smoke came up in my face through the steering wheel. I panicked and jumped off the tractor just about the time the smoke stopped.

This summer has not been good hay making weather. We usually cut hay the first of June, in July and again late August. Almost every day in June, we had rain. We needed the days to be hot and dry. When we saw this last week was going to be rain free, my husband cut the hay on Sunday. The timothy, clover and alfalfa plants were tall, two cuttings in one actually. The windrows were thick which made them hard to dry. By Thursday afternoon, we were ready to bale. My husband warned me to go slow and watch not to plug the baler with the hay. We’d sheer a pin. Just what I needed to hear, but in three hours, we didn’t have any trouble and three wagons full of hay for our efforts. I thought a problem had by passed us this time and found out I was wrong.

It was 7 o’clock that night. The day had been perfect with a breeze and not too hot. My husband suggested we put a load in the barn right away while it was cool. I unload the bales from the wagons onto the conveyor which isn’t so bad with a breeze. My husband stacks in the loft which is hot any time. We were down to the last layer on the first wagon when the chain on our 40 year old conveyor broke. My husband fixed it. I put one bale in the loft and the chain broke. By then it was too dark to see how to work on the chain. My husband did repairs the next morning and about three other times after that. Only about six bales had gone up to the loft. Then a sprocket bent and a chain broke. I’d been trying to talk my husband into getting a new conveyor so I was relieved that the conveyor was finally unfixable. We spent the rest of the day putting 200 bales in the loft by hand. My husband threw the first wagon load in the loft window while I carried them back out of the way. The next wagon, he stacked 15 at a time on the tractor loader bucket and raised it up to the window for me to pull inside. What a relief when we had that last bale stacked.

Saturday, we checked on a new conveyor. The salesman is going to call on Tuesday to let us know the cost and delivery date so I have to keep my phone line free. I definitely want that call to come through so I’m making my blog posts today. By the next time we make hay, something else will have to go wrong. The conveyor is new and the tractor is fixed. That only leaves the baler.

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

　

Who Let That Fool In Here

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When Mamie Jo Hill was a young virgin, a doctor assured her she could never get pregnant. After seeing her firstborn son, she wished he’d been right. Little Michael was dumb as a brick, and he had a face that could sink 1000 ships, a face that could make a freight train take a dirt road. A quick peek at http://www.michaeledits.com/ will establish that, unlike a fine wine, I have not improved with age.
 
As I got older, I learned to compensate for my lack of ability by BSing my way through life. 1982 WHO’S WHO IN AMERICAN WRITING. Four books published in 2002, one in 2004, another in 2005. Three EPPIE finalists. Won some Reviewer’s Choice Awards at Sime~Gen. One of WRITERS DIGEST’s Top 101 Websites For Writers. And all without a lick of talent.
 
Now I teach English in China, where I can BS to my heart’s content.
 
But I’m not all bad. My cat really loves me. My wife loves me too, but she doesn’t know any better because she’s Australian.
 
{Update: We moved to Thailand in 2006 and I quit teaching, but I still BS to my heart’s content.}

Happy Independence Day!

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Publetariat is taking the day off on Monday, July 5 in observance of Independence Day. Site members can still post to their blogs and use the Publetariat Forum during this time.

See you back here on the 6th!             – Editor

Getting Back On Track As A Writer

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It’s been a bit challenging lately to keep things in some semblance of order. The balance of different tasks has been difficult to maintain. In other words, I’ve felt overwhelmed and confused. All writers feel this way at one time or another. Even someone who prides themselves on being organized and on top of things can slip into this position, given the right set of circumstances. For me, the trouble started when I was trying to make things better.

By making things better, I mean that I was trying to improve my writing productivity, while also making serious changes to how I organize my days. It’s been an all-out change revolution.

Unfortunately, I think I tried to do too much at a time. When you’re dealing with the process of putting words on the page, struggling to make coherent thoughts and ideas take appropriate shape, it is important to have some stable point of reference. Now this anchor may be anything. It could be how much time you spend on the work, the time of day you’ve established as "writing time," or it could be the type of writing you do at different points. Now, if you’re working one a single, massive project like me, there isn’t much time to get tossed about by different subject matter. Instead, you may find that the weight of that single work itself is enough to collapse on top of you when you let procrastination drop on top of you.

In The Mix

Right now, I have a book that is taking up the majority of my time writing. This alone is enough to occupy every stray creative thought I have. But, that’s not all I’ve been doing. I’ve been looking at submissions for my small publishing company, I’ve been contemplating another book, I’ve been attempting to organize my thoughts regarding different aspects of business development. Meanwhile, I’ve also been dealing with more domestic duties like training a child to use the toilet. Fantastic stuff, let me tell you. (I’m glad he’s finally making strides in that department, let me tell you!)

I know what some of you must be thinking. Why are you letting all this stuff pile up at once? There’s no need to get drawn into so much at once. Honestly, you should cut out this stuff or do something more to manage you time and delegate things when you can. You know what, I couldn’t agree more. I should have a plan in motion.

Yet, the act of planning has been a source of confusion and agitation – needless agitation I’m sure.  So what is my plan for getting back on track? How do I do it?

Back On The Track

Yes, it is a very good question. Simply put, I have to put things on pause long enough to truly evaluate what is most important and then do a wee bit more prioritizing.  That simple act would go a long way to curbing the force of this relentless confusion and weariness. Setting proper priorities is a tough step when you’ve let things coalesce into a whirlpool of chaotic thoughts and ideas. It takes time to remove the debris and see what’s waiting beneath.

This process will take me a while. Part of the process for me will also involve being more present on this blog. I’ve become lax in my posting and I would like to stop that. I want my readers to have a reason to receive my blogs in their in-boxes. I also hope that my renewed presence here will give me the opportunity to bring in new readers. I have much to say about the business of writing and publishing. I want to take the opportunity to voice some of my ideas and talk to you, the readers, about some of my plans.

That, at least, is one idea I will make good on. The other priority for me is getting that book done to the best of my ability. There is a lot at stake. It will also be a wonderful milestone for me. Wish me luck, folks!

 

This is a cross-posting from Shaun C. Kilgore‘s site.