I talked about my fear of putting myself out there, and that was fun.
Actually, that is a lie, growth SUCKS.
But afterward, you feel much better. Whether it’s muscles or emotions, growth is worth the pain. That still doesn’t change the fact that it is hard. I am still nervous about posting, but each day gets easier and better. You are actually making it better. Stats don’t lie. So all is good, right?
Well, all except for the guilt.
Yep, because I don’t make any money off this site. It is a labor of love, something I want to do. For me. For you. For a dream. But there is always something else that needs to get done, nagging you.
There are those people who are always organized and have everything together and look polished even when cleaning the toilet (which of course is always sparkling) and while I joke about hating them, I admire them and know that I will never be like that. I have come to terms with my limitations, shall we say. I like playing in mud puddles too much and my hair will never behave!
But like most of you, I am the calm in the middle of a whirlwind. I love my house. I love my family. We joke about calling our house The Home for Lost Children, Wayward Kitties, and Silly Dogs. Which doesn’t include the turtle or the bird. If you stop by, you will find fur on the floor, dishes may or may not be done, and I am not responsible for what chaos erupts while you are here, especially if there is a Red Sox game on.
But you will be welcomed, overfed, and someone will love you and make you feel better. As long as you are not allergic. Otherwise, we have Benadryl, (which used to be the name of our old lady dog, but I mean the pills, not the dog).
So what does this have to do with guilt? Everything.
The time I take to be here with you is thrilling, like a secret romance. The floors always need vacuuming, the garden always needs weeding, and I always have work projects. Don’t even mention the need for sleep.
I put that all aside to be here, and it is wonderful. I think we all need to be a little more selfish and take the time to nurture what makes us feel alive.
Have a good day, go do something nice for yourself.
Paula