Self-Care – Publetariat

Scheduling and Time Management by Alyson McLayne

February 15, 2018 by Publetariat

Who doesn’t need help managing their time. Anyone who can live and thrive while wrangling five year-old twin boys deserves a medal, never mind a listen too. So with that I invite you to read this time management post by Alyson McLayne.

Scheduling and Time Management by Alyson McLayne

Ever wonder how you’re going to get everything done? Let Alyson McLayne show you how she seizes the day!

With January just ended, I realize I haven’t set any goals for the year. And truthfully, as busy as I am, I can’t help but wonder What’s the point? I already have goals for this year in the form of deadlines: 3 books to complete, 12 newsletters to craft, 25+ blogs to write, and the world to wow on social media—not to mention conferences to attend and edits coming out of my ears.

Maybe, like me, you’ve reached the point where you no longer sit down and write a list of New Year’s Resolutions—only to fail come December 31^st. Instead, perhaps you choose an inspiring word that becomes your mantra, or theme, for the year. One year I chose the word “success”, and last year a friend of mine chose the word “courage”. This year she has a catchphrase: “Seize the moment”.

These are all good ideas. I can only imagine that if we courageously seized the moment whenever we could during 2018 it would lead to great success!

But I feel like those kinds of words and the sentiment behind them are too ephemeral for me this year. I need something with more grit, more heft, to get me through the challenges I face. Like many of you, in addition to writing, I’m also busy on the home front—I have twin five-year-olds, a puppy, aging and sick parents, and a husband who works long hours.

Read the full post at Romance University!

3 Ways to Change Your Thinking Today

January 30, 2018 by Publetariat

Writing can totally mess with your mind. If you don’t show anyone what you write, are you really a writer? And who doesn’t want people to appreciate our prose? But then that means putting yourself out there, which is quite unnerving for some people. Raising my hand on that one! Literary Agent Rachelle Gardner wrote a great post on how to deal with your psyche.

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3 Ways to Change Your Thinking Today

Rachelle Gardner

The writing and publishing life can be hard on the equilibrium. It’s full of ups and downs, hopes deferred, dreams dashed, dreams realized, ego strokes and debilitating criticism.

We wonder if we’ll ever reach our goals. We swing between high-on-life optimism and crushing pessimism. We decry that this path shouldn’t be so difficult. We rail against systems. We wonder how to write a good book. We despair of ever reaching our readers.

But there is another way to think about it. Many of you have probably read Good to Great by Jim Collins, a classic book for business and leadership. In it, he explains what he calls the Stockdale Paradox, a way of thinking that can get anyone through the most harrowing of circumstances.

You can click here for a short audio clip of Jim Collins discussing the Stockdale Paradox, or Google the phrase to learn more about Admiral Jim Stockdale, a United States military officer held captive and tortured for eight years during the Vietnam War, for whom Collins named this Paradox. Admiral Stockdale had a unique way of looking at his brutal situation that allowed him to survive, and go on to thrive later in life.

As a writer, here’s how you can apply the Stockdale Paradox to immediately change your thinking:

Read the full post at Rachelle Gardner!

Quick Link: How I Overcame Discouragement and Revived my Passion For Writing (and How You Can too)

January 8, 2018 by Publetariat

Quick links, bringing you great articles on writing from all over the web.

I thought this lovely post by Rae Elliott at Barely Hare Books was a lovely way to start off the week. And who couldn’t use a word of encouragement or two sometimes. I am bookmarking this one for future reference!

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How I Overcame Discouragement and Revived my Passion For Writing (and How You Can too)

by Rae Elliott

You and I want nothing more than to write every day, all the time.

But in the whirlwind of life’s demands, you lose energy, focus, and determination. You feel it in your gut. That desire for writing is fading. And worse still, no one seems interested in your work anyway.

“Why don’t I feel like writing anymore? Does my fiction matter? How do I get my passion back for writing? Can I get it back at all? ”

Yes, you can, you sweet little pickled onion. Promise. Because I went through the same thing not too long ago myself.

Just a few months ago, life pushed everything I love into the background and plopped health problems and bills and rent and even more adulting onto my lap instead. My passion for writing began slipping away and I felt so helpless against it. Worse still, I saw my peers skyrocketing and I felt even more alone, resentful, and lost.

I didn’t write a single word for nearly four months.

So what changed? How did I start writing two hours a day for my blog and make book sales along the way?

Read the full post on Barely Hare Books

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If you liked this article, please share. If you have suggestions for further articles, articles you would like to submit, or just general comments, please contact me at paula@publetariat.com or leave a message below.

Quick Link: When Does a Writer Rest? It’s Time to Talk About Self-Care

November 1, 2017 by Publetariat

Quick links, bringing you great articles on writing from all over the web.

You know how much I love self care articles and with today being the first day of NaNoWriMo, a time when people go crazy writing, that this article from The Write Life would be perfect!

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When Does a Writer Rest? It’s Time to Talk About Self-Care

by Emily Wenstrom

Let’s start with some cold reality: My 2017 Q2 sales report is in.

I sold a grand total of 25 books, between two titles.

While my publisher assures me this is normal for a small press author between releases, I was somewhat distraught over this report.

There are a lot of reasons behind this dip in sales. As my publisher pointed out, I was in a lull between releases (my last true launch was March 2016, over a year before). Additionally, my personal life was in upheaval.

I had just settled back into my home in D.C. and returned to a full-time office job after two years of freelancing and flexibility. Additionally, a loved one was in the midst of chemotherapy treatments, and for whatever reason, the hubs and I had chosen to do an unusual amount of travel during this period.

In short, it was a busy and overwhelming time in just about every way. I was exhausted. This limited my ability to write consistently, let alone focus on marketing.

Sometimes, something just has to give.

Read the full post on The Write Life

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Quick Link: Process Goals: 6 Ways Slowing Down and Thinking Small Will Help You Write Your Book

October 30, 2017 by Publetariat

Quick links, bringing you great articles on writing from all over the web.

Is it any wonder why I love Anne R. Allen and of course Ruth Harris when they do a great post like this?

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Process Goals: 6 Ways Slowing Down and Thinking Small Will Help You Write Your Book

by Ruth Harris

Psychologists differentiate between outcome goals (write a book) and process goals (the steps it will take to write a book). The outcome goal focuses on the big picture and the end result—a diamond-studded World Series ring, an Emmy, the winner’s circle at the Kentucky Derby.

An outcome goal (Bestseller! Glowing five-star reviews!) is one over which you have no control. No wonder you feel overwhelmed and intimidated before you even begin.

The big picture is, well, big. You can’t control it and it’s hard to define. Do you want a bestseller? NY Times or USA Today or both? A nomination for a literary prize? Pulitzer? National Book Award? A book your Mom/third grade teacher/college professor will be proud of? A book that will get revenge on the guy/gal who dumped you and prove to the world that they were wrong and you were right?

Even if you can pin down what you want from the book, you still have to write it.

OMG, a book? 60,000-100,000 brilliant, well-chosen words that actually make sense?

Read the full post on Anne R. Allen’s Blog With Ruth Harris

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Quick Link: POD: Why Authors Should Handle Their Print-On-Demand

October 17, 2017October 17, 2017 by Publetariat

Quick links, bringing you great articles on writing from all over the web.

Michele DeFilippo at BookWorks makes the case on why indie authors should do their own print-on-demand. What have your experiences been?

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POD: Why Authors Should Handle Their Print-On-Demand

by Michele DeFilippo

Michele DeFilippo of 1106 Design is committed to helping indie authors succeed. She has shared advice on our Discussion Groups forum and here offers further support by presenting the case for setting up and managing your own POD.

Marketing your book is the final step in self-publishing; it’s also the never-ending step. Distribution—a way of delivering your book to readers—is a vital ingredient of your marketing plan. At one time, a printed book sold in a brick-and-mortar bookstore (or via mail order or out of the back of one’s trunk) was the only distribution method open to self-published authors. Today’s indie publishers have several options: print, eBooks, audio books, and print-on-demand (POD).

In this article, I’ll focus on POD: what it is, who does it, and how authors can manage their own POD and get paid more.

Read the full post on BookWorks.

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Quick Link: How Your Flexibility is Actually Hurting Your Writing Career

October 16, 2017 by Publetariat

Quick links, bringing you great articles on writing from all over the web.

I chose to post this article because it is so me, just in case it is so you as well. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to learn how to say “no”. At The Write Life, author Adam Hughes teaches us how to set boundaries.

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How Your Flexibility is Actually Hurting Your Writing Career

by Adam Hughes

It’s fashionable these days to be flexible in all areas of life.

The demands of your job are always changing, your family dynamic is in perpetual flux and news breaks in a flash.You have to adapt or you’ll be left behind.

However, I’m here to tell you that being too flexible can actually hurt your writing career.

If you don’t have a strong, unwavering foundation, our frenzied world will swallow you up.

And nothing is more vulnerable in this regard than your writing — the next “urgent” matter is always waiting around the corner to commandeer whatever time you thought you had to write.

Only by standing steadfast in your convictions can you protect your writing career against the ravages of the mayhem.

Here are three ways being inflexible can actually make you a better writer.

Read the full post on The Write Life.

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Quick Link: Indie authors: Your Pub Date is Not As Important as You Think

October 11, 2017 by Publetariat

Quick links, bringing you great articles on writing from all over the web.

In keeping with the “take care of yourself” vibe, I give you this article from award winning author Tabitha Lord at Writer unBoxed.

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Indie authors: Your Pub Date is Not As Important as You Think

by Tabitha Lord

The pub date: THE big day of an author’s life, right? All of the toiling, editing, revising and decision-making comes down to a fateful 24 hours — a speck on the calendar, but a very important speck.

Or so they say. But that’s not necessarily the case, at least, not for us indie authors.

We hear a lot about the all-important pub date as authors, but it’s important to parse whom the pub date really matters to and why. For traditionally published authors, a book’s success can largely hinge on early sales. Much attention is given to garnering pre-orders in hopes of pushing a book onto a bestseller list during release week and encouraging retailers to order more books.

Read the full post on Writer unBoxed.

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Quick Link: How to Slow Time for More Relaxed, Creative Writing Sessions

September 28, 2017 by Publetariat

Quick links, bringing you great articles on writing from all over the web.

It has been really hectic lately on the homefront so the idea of being able to do anything slow and more relaxed sounds wonderful. Check out Colleen M. Story’s post at Elizabeth Spann Craig for tips on how to have a more relaxed calm writing session. Now if I could just apply this to my life!

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How to Slow Time for More Relaxed, Creative Writing Sessions

by Colleen M. Story

“Oh, I want to write today, but I just don’t have the time!”

You’ve probably felt this way more than once. In fact, if you’re like many of us in today’s world, you’re feeling frequently pressed for time, and like you just can’t find enough of it—especially for writing.

The bad news is that when you’re constantly under the gun, creativity suffers. In a 2002 study, researchers analyzed more than 9,000 daily diary entries from people who were working on projects that required high levels of creativity. They found that stress, in the form of time pressure, resulted in less creative projects.

“When creativity is under the gun,” the authors wrote, “it usually ends up getting killed.”

The good news is that you don’t have to feel this way. Here are five tips that can help you slow your perception of time so that when you do get a moment to write, you can approach it with a calm, relaxed state of mind.

Read the full post on Elizabeth Spann Craig.

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The one cool trick to tell if you are stressed.

September 28, 2017 by Publetariat

Long day so this is going to be a quickie.

It is really important to your overall health to decrease stress. Before I became a software engineer extraordinaire I worked in mental health where I met Mr. Paula who was an intern and is now a Doctor of Psychology.

So this is legit. Take your hands and put them on the back of your neck. Are your hands the same temperature or warmer? Congratulations, you are not stressed. But if your hands are colder than your neck then your body is in stress mode.

Some people are so used to being stressed that they are completely unaware of how bad it is. And there are a few medical conditions that can cause poor circulation but what is probably at work for most people is your body’s response to stress. The body is designed to try and survive anything it can, so when you become stressed the body starts pulling the blood into the core from your extremities. Pretty cool, right.

Except we are no longer running from wolves and have different types of stress that the body doesn’t understand. So it continues to react the same way. Now the challenge is to find ways of dealing with that stress so you are healthier.

The old saying “cold hands, warm heart” is literally true.

Have a great day with warm hands

Paula

Stuck in the middle with you.

August 25, 2017 by Publetariat

I am one of those sandwiched middle classians that is stuck hard between generations. We have three kids in college, with one more we are trying to get into a certificate program. We are also dealing with more and more problems with my elderly in-laws and I am about to head for a family meeting to deal with some of those issues.

No matter what your political belief, (I do try to keep that out of this site) I think a lot of us feel very squeezed. Wages have been stagnant for a long time and the cost of life has been merrily growing. I think that is part of the reason why there is so much emotion behind the issues.

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am…

That said, I count my blessings every day because I know there are a lot of people who have it way worse than I do. I have been there. There was a time when 30 bucks was all I had after bills for gas and groceries for myself and my daughter. Even then I was blessed because at least I had a place to live and a car.

Times are tough for a lot of us.

Which means that if you are not getting paid to write, that becomes an “extra”. I am blessed again to be able to contribute to my family’s well-being by being able to work from home as a freelancer. I do alright for myself. BUT if I am not working, I am not earning.

So after working to feed us, and dealing with the different family issues, and sometimes actually trying to get some sleep, a lot of “extras” get cut out. You have to, to keep sane.

There are some days when there is more fur on the floor than I am happy with. I also have a huge collection of crafts and Lego kits that I now affectionately call my retirement plan because they got caught up in the “extras”. I used to struggle with having time to write. That so easily could be an “extra” and for a long time, it was. But then NaNoWriMo came along and I made a deal with my family. I would have November to write 50K words.

I started looking forward to every crazy November. So did my family. They would ask about what my idea for my story was and then what happened next. Eventually, I realized that they were happier when I wrote in November and so was I.

Writing is no longer an extra, it is self-care. I guess that can tell you a lot about how you feel about writing and if it is something you should invest time in. Even if it is to write a daily post.

Have a great day!

Paula

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Quick Link: Writer’s Block and Depression: Why Writers Need to “Fill the Well”

August 23, 2017 by Publetariat

Quick links, bringing you great articles on writing from all over the web.

I often write about the need to take care of yourself and I am a firm believer in opening up and normalizing dealing with mental health issues so I am pleased to share this post from Anne R. Allen.

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Writer’s Block and Depression: Why Writers Need to “Fill the Well”

by Anne R. Allen

Writer’s block is probably the most popular topic in the writing posts on Medium, the popular new (ish) blogging platform. Lots of Millennials use Medium, and their posts offer an insight into our culture’s future.

I’ve been amazed to see how many young writers consider themselves “blocked.”

I fear it comes from that old adage “write every day”– which is silly. Even the most successful, prolific writers I know don’t work seven days a week, fifty-two weeks a year. It’s good to remember that even God rested on the seventh day.

I believe that if you have nothing to say, it’s best not to say it.

There is so much pressure right now to turn out endless verbiage that writers aren’t taking time to read, contemplate, and have real experiences to write about.

Read the full post on Anne R. Allen’s Blog

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Author – know thyself!

August 18, 2017 by Publetariat

Knowing who you are can really help you as an author. This is not some new age granola thing. It’s about ways to hack yourself into doing better.

For example I am not a morning person, ever. I need to finish my coffee at a slow relaxed pace before I can talk. Knowing this, I don’t schedule any work meetings until after I am settled. Maybe you are not blessed to be self employed like me. When I worked for corporate America, I would get up in time so I could have a half an hour to chillax, have my coffee and breakfast, and wake the hell up.

When it is time for me to really power work, I have invested in some noise canceling headphones and have a butt-kicking playlist that allows me to focus, especially since I am a poster child for adult ADHD.

Speaking of my inability to sit still, I have lots of unique pieces of jewelry that I can fidget with in meetings without looking like a loon.

The headphone trick, by the way, once allowed me to complete NaNoWriMo in the last three days when chaos took over the earlier part of the month.

It is also really important to know yourself, so you can tell when you are getting overwhelmed and stressed. We are so used to putting our self care aside and ignoring warning signs that we actually get used to operating on a constant stress level.

Quick trick from Mr. Paula who is a shrink: Right now, put your hands on your neck. Go ahead. I will wait.

Are your hands colder than your neck? Then you are stressed. When your body senses that you are stressed it pulls the heat from your extremities to your core.

Being in a constant state of stress means you are not able to give your best to yourself, others, and your writing.

There is a difference between stress and excitement. Doing NaNoWriMo in three days was actually exciting and fun. My family got into the spirit and were cheering me on. Doing that for every NaNoWriMo would stress me out. Because, as someone who is a pantser in writing, I am a plotter in life.

And my hands are always toasty warm.

What do you do to deal with stress or treat yourself?

Have a great day!

Paula

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All a matter of priorities… and being a little bit selfish.

August 10, 2017 by Publetariat

I talked about my fear of putting myself out there, and that was fun.

Actually, that is a lie, growth SUCKS.

But afterward, you feel much better. Whether it’s muscles or emotions, growth is worth the pain. That still doesn’t change the fact that it is hard. I am still nervous about posting, but each day gets easier and better. You are actually making it better. Stats don’t lie. So all is good, right?

Well, all except for the guilt.

Yep, because I don’t make any money off this site. It is a labor of love, something I want to do. For me. For you. For a dream. But there is always something else that needs to get done, nagging you.

There are those people who are always organized and have everything together and look polished even when cleaning the toilet (which of course is always sparkling) and while I joke about hating them, I admire them and know that I will never be like that. I have come to terms with my limitations, shall we say. I like playing in mud puddles too much and my hair will never behave!

But like most of you, I am the calm in the middle of a whirlwind. I love my house. I love my family. We joke about calling our house The Home for Lost Children, Wayward Kitties, and Silly Dogs. Which doesn’t include the turtle or the bird. If you stop by, you will find fur on the floor, dishes may or may not be done, and I am not responsible for what chaos erupts while you are here, especially if there is a Red Sox game on.

But you will be welcomed, overfed, and someone will love you and make you feel better. As long as you are not allergic. Otherwise, we have Benadryl, (which used to be the name of our old lady dog, but I mean the pills, not the dog).

So what does this have to do with guilt? Everything.

The time I take to be here with you is thrilling, like a secret romance. The floors always need vacuuming, the garden always needs weeding, and I always have work projects. Don’t even mention the need for sleep.

I put that all aside to be here, and it is wonderful. I think we all need to be a little more selfish and take the time to nurture what makes us feel alive.

Have a good day, go do something nice for yourself.

Paula

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Quick Link: The Therapeutic Benefits of Writing a Novel

June 7, 2017 by Publetariat

Quick links, bringing you great articles on writing from all over the web.

So this! At Writer UnBoxed, Jessica Lourey discusses the therapeutic effect of writing. Any good therapist will tell you the benefits of writing, while Jessica takes it one step further. The therapy of writing a novel, even if you never publish it.

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The Therapeutic Benefits of Writing a Novel

by Jessica Lourey

Please welcome guest Jessica Lourey (rhymes with “dowry”) whose new book Rewrite Your Life: Discover Your Truth Through the Healing Power of Fiction is the only book that shows you how to transform your facts into a compelling, healing novel. Jessica is a tenured professor of creative writing and sociology, a regular Psychology Today blogger, a sought-after workshop leader and keynote speaker who delivered the 2016 “Rewrite Your Life” TEDx Talk, and a leader of transformative writer’s retreats.

Jessica (Jess) is also the author of the critically-acclaimed Murder-by-Month mysteries, that have earned multiple starred reviews from Library Journal and Booklist. The next one is due out in September 2017: March of Crime. Her other novels are The Catalain Book of Secrets, Salem’s Cipher, The Toadhouse Trilogy: Book One, May Day, June Bug, Knee High by the Fourth of July, August Moon, September Fair, October Fest, November Hunt, December Dread, January Thaw, and February Fever.

Connect with Jessica on her blog, on Facebook, and on Twitter.

The Therapeutic Benefits of Writing a Novel

When my husband died unexpectedly in 2001, I’d never heard of expressive writing. And you know what? It wouldn’t have mattered if I had. Three months pregnant, raising a three-year-old, and suddenly a widow, the last thing I wanted to do was spend even one sharp second journaling about how I felt. No offense to Dr. Pennebaker, the founder of the expressive writing movement. It’s just that I couldn’t survive reliving the pain of my husband’s suicide, not then, not on my own. I needed to convert it, package it, and ship it off.

So I began writing fiction.

Read the full post on Writer UnBoxed

Scheduling and Time Management by Alyson McLayne

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3 Ways to Change Your Thinking Today

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How I Overcame Discouragement and Revived my Passion For Writing (and How You Can too)

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When Does a Writer Rest? It’s Time to Talk About Self-Care

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Process Goals: 6 Ways Slowing Down and Thinking Small Will Help You Write Your Book

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POD: Why Authors Should Handle Their Print-On-Demand

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How Your Flexibility is Actually Hurting Your Writing Career

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Indie authors: Your Pub Date is Not As Important as You Think

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How to Slow Time for More Relaxed, Creative Writing Sessions

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Writer’s Block and Depression: Why Writers Need to “Fill the Well”

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The Therapeutic Benefits of Writing a Novel

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